Are You Guilty Of Making These Common Self-Sabotaging Mistakes?

In last week’s blog post, we discussed the importance of having a goal in mind. I’m sure that most of you have been daydreaming about this goal for years, but never did anything about it. Or maybe you started, but life got in the way, right?

Whenever I talk to other mums about what I do, the feedback is pretty much standard: ‘Oh, I’d love to do that, but…’

Why Do People Self-Sabotage?

Reason 1: ‘I don’t have time.’ Are you sure about this? It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that we don’t have time to put in the work required to follow our dreams, and yet, we binge-watch Netflix and spend hours on social media. Don’t worry, I’m not judging – I’m guilty of all these myself. However, there is something you can do even when you’re busy: think. You can plan/brainstorm/come up with ideas while you’re doing other things that don’t require mental energy, such as housework. I, personally, dictate stories and blog posts (including this one!) during my school run. On days when I’m not feeling creative, I listen to an audiobook instead. This means that I’m not trying to find time I don’t have in order to do the things I need.

Reason 2: ‘I’m no good at anything.’ First of all, where on earth would you get such a silly idea? Everyone is good at something, you just haven’t done enough soul-searching to discover what it is, yet.

Marie Kondo was good at tidying. I’m sure that most of us wouldn’t consider ‘tidying’ a skill, and yet, here she is, killing it, doing what she loves. In fact, her book, ‘The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing’ is what inspired me to embrace minimalism, and I personally find joy in emptying my home of unnecessary clutter. I never would have experienced this had Marie Kondo not shared the one thing she is extremely good at, with the rest of the world. 

Gemma Bray is another person who managed to follow her dreams through something we take for granted. Organising her housework keeps her sane, so she created the Team T.O.M.M (The Organised Mum Method) movement. Now, thousands of people around the world (including myself) follow her simple housework routine that allows people to free up their time. 

Reason 3: ‘It’s too much work.’ Well, yes, of course it is. But, the good news is that you don’t have to do everything at once. Following your dreams involves building a solid foundation. This could include anything from building a website and building a client base, to taking courses and learning. All of this is unglamorous and takes time. It will probably take you more than a year, but if you set realistic time goals, this will not come as a shock. I’m always continually learning, so I split my year into months. My goal is to learn something new (but related to what I’m doing) each month. I always tell myself ‘I wish I’d started a year ago,’ but at the same time I know that in a year’s time, I will be able to look back with no regrets. 

Reason 4: ‘But what if I fail?’ I have news for you. You will fail, especially if this is your first attempt.

But, here’s a piece of advice you won’t find anywhere else:

Enjoy failing.

Yep. Embrace your failures. Do you know why? Because everyone who has succeeded, has failed countless times before getting where they want to be. Failure is part of the process, part of the journey. It’s a trench. You’re supposed to fall down and twist your ankle, before getting up and getting better, so that the next time you encounter a trench, you spot it from miles away and make the necessary adjustments. Next time, you’ll be better, faster and smarter. 

Reason 5: ‘I need to know everything before I start.’ If you’re unwilling to be flexible on this, you will never get there. The process is simple: start, fail, reassess what you’ve done, and try again. Rinse and repeat. It’s probably better to not know everything you have to do, anyway, because it will be too overwhelming. Had I known, before I started writing, that I would have to learn how to design my own website (rather badly – I eventually delegated it to a professional), do FB Lives (they terrify me), write songs, record author visits, and so many other things, I probably would never have started. And what a shame that would have been. 

Conclusion

Unless you are committed to your dream, everything is an obstacle. But, if you’re determined, nothing can stop you. 

What is stopping you from starting or continuing on your journey? Comment below

Remember that next Saturday is the last of the month, so we have a guest post by Play Therapist and Parenting Coach, Sabrina Persiano. 

I will be back the week after to talk about Step 3 in the workbook: Be Mindful of Your Thoughts.

Happy weekend!

PS. If there’s a relevant topic you’d like me to discuss, please get in touch!